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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?